Taking an important first step.

My name is Moses Reinhardt, some call me Moe, Uncle Moe or Boss.   I never understood "The Boss" and why that moniker has come to be, I have never been a "boss" of anything to be perfectly frank (at least in working title anyway).   Maybe its the way I carry myself, how I interact with people, I dont know.   I would have always envisioned a "Boss" as it were, being a leer jet flying, limousine riding, rolex wearing, kiss stealing , wheeling dealing son of a gun (thank you Ric Flair -if you dont know who Ric Flair is I would highly suggest you google or you tube him).   As it is my life is anything but "Boss" life right now, I last flew a Southwest Economy flight to Texas in April of this year and while there certainty did not ride in a limo, nor buy a rolex or steal a ladies kiss.   Last I also looked I wasn't making any significant wheeling and dealing.

Anyway, my brief rant aside this blog is titled "Taking an important first step".   Well its actually the second time I have taken this step.   I have decided this time around that this second first step must be the last one (for this issue anyway).   In October, I turn 40 and as it stands right now I weigh 410 pounds.   I have had to let that sink into my brain and burn my reality, Boss -you weigh 410 pounds.   That weight has me feeling like a Loss, not a Boss.   It has been the proverbial thorn in my side my whole entire life, it affects everything.   My knees hurt when I walk,  I walk like an old man would sometimes after I stand up from sitting down.   My back hurts, I have developed upper back pain in addition to the lower back pain I have silently suffered with for years.   I dont tell people much about the pain, not even my closest friends, co workers or family.  Many mornings getting out of bed is such a challenge, I feel the creak and pop in my back as I sit up, the dull aches and sometimes #7 or 8 level pain I endure for just doing daily living.

Some days (like today and the last several days) are good, I admit the hotter summers are easier for me to tolerate. Even in air conditioned offices, it makes it easier for me to get around pain free.   Even though I loathe the 90 degree plus weather, I enjoy the summers -summertime means less struggle with stiff joints and back - period.   It is rather ironic, something I hate so much - hot summer days, is the one thing that my joints and body needs.   I live in the Pacific Northwest where temperatures in the winter months can dip into the low 20s (sometimes teens or single digits), this year we had several major snow storms and I cant tell you how hard it was on my joints.  My knees popped, my back ached and I was inwardly begging for a hot summer day.  Moving to a consistently warmer climate as soon as possible is on my priority list.   The one state I have decided I absolutely will not move back to again is California (for reasons I will blog about later)

The step I am taking is to deal with this thorne and remove it, hopefully for good.   It has come down to reality for me, that the choices I have made with my health over the course of years has brought me to where I am at today.   It wasn't my mother with her bipolar-like tirades and fits of fear inducing rage that forced me to rebel in my childhood and eat in vast quantities the foods that I knew I shouldn't (and did into adulthood).   It isn't the fault of the various (though now looking back on it well meaning at times) forms of "fat shaming" (and we will blog about that later, oh yea, we gonna talk about that).   It is not the fault of "the system", "the man", "people in general" or any other forms of excuses that have barrelled through my brain these past 40 something years.  They were my choices, my choice to eat 5 slices of pizza instead of 1 or 2 (or a salad), my choice to take the extra scoop(s), my choice to sit at home all day and veg out versus getting up and active for a few hours.

If you haven't figured it out, the first step is personal responsibility.  Its the key to everything in life - health included.   I say health because I am learning from my coach that health is about choices that we make - fundamentally to be healthy and then the secondary choices that support that.  For me the die is cast, I heard three words this year that I was totally unprepared for "POSSIBLE HEART FAILURE", I had been having bouts of rapid heart rate and shallow breath for sometime when I went to see my doctor.   Fortunately the word Possible stayed Possible as all of the testing (echo and stress) showed no blockages and a strong heart structure.  So the doctor attributed my symptoms to stress and low Vitamin D (on supplements right now).   However relieved I was at the time to hear it was just stress and low Vitamin D, the problem still persisted.   My weight.

It is not healthy to be unhealthy.  I want you the reader to burn this into your brain right here and right now.  I have been obese most of my life and I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt, that there is no benefit to being unhealthy or obese- none!   I don't care what the new so called "body positive" movement tells you, I don't care what your parents tell you, I don't care what your friends or teachers tell you, I don't care what day time talk shows tell you, I don't care what Oprah has falsely told generations of women - there is no healthy overweight or fat.   It affects your moods - depression and anxiety, it affects your mobility and flexibility, it affects everything about you.   Truth is healthy men and women (those who haven't settled for less than their optimum state of health and being) are not attracted to the obesity epidemic that has swept America and of which I currently up to this point have been a part of.

If you are overweight and not at a minimum taking the best efforts you can to move to healthy states of being , then prepare for a lifetime of frustration.   It took me 40 years, hurting joints and back and three words to finally wake me up.